Thanks to my wicked and borderline-unethical viral (spam) marketing skills, most of you already know about this from my email, MySpace, and the full page ad I took out in today’s Times. But in case you missed it, rather than having me drive down your street to throw a rock through your window…

Larry Doyle, Simpsons’ writer and author of I Love You Beth Cooper, has selected my most embarrassing high school story, Wonderful, My Ass!, as a finalist winner in his Agony & Ecstacy essay contest. For a laugh at my expense (and who doesn’t love a good mockery of their personal pain, right Micque?), check out this true tale of utter humiliation from 1989. Sadly, I’ve yet to learn how not to be an insecure, stalkeresque psychopath (how do you think I got Mr. Bims to marry me?), but I’ve had lots of fun trying and then writing about it.

Check out my tale of woe via the link below, and don’t forget to leave a few comments (or touch someone’s boob) on the story page if you’re so inspired!

11/04/08: Edited to add: Larry Doyle has since updated his blog and, sadly, removed the essays. You’ll have to take my word for it until I can post the essay elsewhere!