May 14-15, 2008
Word count: 0
Today is going to be a great day! I got up early, had my coffee, and I’m ready to rock! Let’s jump right into book 2 and make some progress. I’m hoping for 3,000 words today. Let’s do it!
Word count: 17
I was feeling a bit stifled after a few hours of staring at the screen, so Alex and I went for a walk and had lunch at a little diner called Pop. I had French toast and the waitress was so old school and cute with a bun and glasses and a pencil stuck in her hair. Anyway, now I’m all refueled and energized and ready to write. Rock on!
Word count: 19
Diary, I know I know I know I know, but General Hospital is on! I haven’t seen it in 15 years! Carly’s 12-year-old son Michael is in an irreversible coma, which means he’ll be back next year, inexplicably 21 years old and looking for revenge. Oh, no no no no no. I can’t get sucked in. I really should be working on my book. But… wait… whatever happened to Jagger?
Word count: 18, no 19
Yes, I must get serious. I’m staring at work in progress. I’m creating and destroying worlds and people and love, all inside my mind. But I’m stuck on a word. I stare at it for several minutes, then delete. It’s an adverb, after all. A modifier. But a good one. I retype it. Delete it. Retype it. Decisions, decisions.
Word count: 31, woot!
Seriously? I need to sign in to Facebook and make sure Mom hasn’t posted any additional pictures of me posing in ugly sweater and wig. BRB.
Word count: 31
Damn it. Must consider changing name on Facebook. But not now. Now, I must focus.
Word count: 39
Tell me something, Diary. How can it be that this boy doesn’t have a nickname yet1? What am I doing with my days of leisure if not honing my craft? How come I can’t make up (or troll friends’ ideas for) a stupid effing nickname? Am I losing my creative touch?
Word count: 39, but listen to this!
WTF is wrong with Tyra? I mean, is Whitney really considered “plus sized?” Really? WTF? Well, I like chocolate cake, you know. And if Whitney can do it, so can I. Plus-sized writers unite!
Word count: 39 (still, yes, I know, you’re not my mother!)
Simon Cowell is trying to sabotage me! I have work to do, can’t he understand? Wait, why is David Cook crying? Don’t cry, David! You’ll be okay! I… ugh! Listen, Dave, stop distracting me with your man-tears and tender rock star ballads!
Word count: 104
Type type type. Type. Delete. Type type.
Are you happy now, Diary? I’m working.
Word count: 239
I am brilliant. Oh, people will line up around the block to buy this book, my sophomore effort, my magnum opus, just you wait! Sweet beautiful puppies, I have found my calling and it has found me!
See, Diary, I knew I could do it. When it comes to words, I’m a literary top model. I “brung” it. I’m fierce.
Word count: 109
Stupid, worthless drivel! I will have to pay readers to buy this book! I’m useless! I’m a talentless, brainless, chocolate-cake-eating plus-sized HACK! Delete! Delete! Delete!
Word count: 119
Diary, check this out. Someone actually named their twin babies after characters in Stephenie Meyer’s TWILIGHT. Really, if someone called me and told me they’d just named their babies Anna and Frankie because of my book, I’d be like, “So do you want those solid gold commemorative copies hand-engraved or laser? And also, I… I… I think I love you.”
Word count: 119
Diary, I need your event-planning advice. Is it too early to start planning a launch party for TWENTY BOY SUMMER? OMG I could do a super cute beach thing with adorable sparkly ocean-themed evites and mai tais with umbrellas and little candies that look like beach glass and, and, and…
Diary, do you think people will show?
Word count: 121
I don’t know how to say this gently, without adverbs, so I’ll just come right out with it. I think we need to break up. It’s not you, it’s me. And by me, I mean you. Our correspondence is just too time-consuming; it’s taking me away from my contractual obligations to complete my second book. As you know, my days are packed with a grueling writing and research schedule that leaves no time for frivolous banter.
I’ve appreciated your friendship, but really, it’s for the best that we just move on.
PS. I hope you’ll still come to my launch party.
1. Thank you all for your wonderful nickname suggestions. Each (well, okay, not each. But some. Well more like one…) is being carefully evaluated and tested within the manuscript. Stay tuned for final decision.