Thank you all for your supportive comments on yesterday’s Sarah Ockler’s 1st Book post. As promised, here is the full, unedited text of my 1982 novel adaptation of E.T.
E.T The Extra Terestrial
One day Eliot was having a party. His brother Mike, said, go get some pizza and don’t forget the pepperoni. So, he got the pizza. On the way back, he heard something. He threw a ball and it came back! Eliot dropped the pizza and ran. When he got home, his brother said, where is the pizza? Eliot said, I dropped it. Why? Because there’s something out there that scared me half to death. All right this better not be one of your jokes! It’s not peanut1 breath!
Mike, this is the best promise you could make. Now take of your shoulders because you may scare him. Here he is! haaa! Who is he? I don’t know. I’m keeping him. Get Girty and I’ll get food. Girty asked, is he a girl or a boy? He’s a boy. Is he a pig? He sure eat’s like one. I don’t like his feet. Shut up you spoiled brat!
So Eliot went to school. E.t drank ten bottles of beer when Eliot was at school. When E.t took a step, he banged into the table and the refrigorater then fell on the floor. He went behind the television when Girty was watching Seseme Street. B is for boot, boy, bat, ball and book she said. Then E.t said, B b B b! You can talk?
Girty dressed him up like miss piggy.
When Eliot came home he said, whats going on? He can talk! What? First E.t said, E.t home phone. Then he said E.t phone home! I think he is trying to call some somebody. But they just left the phone alone.
Soon it was halloween. E.t was a ghost, Eliot was a scarrcrow, and Mike was robin hood. They all went except Girty, because Their mom didin’t like squshy little things. So they made her think that it was Girty.
It was time to go home. Mike left, but E.t and Eliot did not. Instead they went on Eliot’s bike. E.t kicked the peddle and they flew in the air. They landed in the forest. They made a radar out of some junk they brought. It was working. They had to sleep there. But in the morning, Eliot found that the radar did not work and E.t was missing! So he had to go home to his worried mother.
His mom left the room. Eliot said, Mike you gota find him! Where is he? He’s in the forest. in a bald spot. So Mike took Eliot’s bike and went to find E.t. He looked everywere! But then he looked by the river and found him. He took him back to Eliot. He said that E.t was sick. They had to show there mom. When there mom saw it, she screamed! She took them away from E.t.. He was sad. But then Eliot got sick too. So they bolf went to the hospital. They where in a sepret room. But the docters could not help E.t so he died.
Eliot was sad. He went to see E.t once more. He walked away. But just as he left, E.t came back alive! The docter took Eliot away from E.t. They put E.t in a truck. Mike and Eliot played a trick. The trick was, Mike and Eliot took off with the truck. They took it to Eliot’s friend’s. They flew up in the air. They crashed on a dirtty hill. They peddled so so fast, cops where folowing them. They went faster and faster! They finaly got home.
Girty went in the car with mama. Mike and Eliot took E.t with them because there taking him to his space ship. First, mom said by. Then Mike then Girty. Last Eliot said good bye. It was sad. E.t was sad. It left them all with a very broken heart. 😦
Okay, I’ll give you a moment to reflect and discuss amongst yourselves.
So, what do you think? Be honest, now! Even though strict copyright laws prevent me from publishing my first novel adaptation, I’m still seeking literary criticism from my friends and readers. If you have any constructive feedback or general comments on the plot, character development, pacing, story arc, tense, etc., please share! It can only help me become a better writer!
Okay, confession? I totally teared up when I read the ending just now, thinking about that part in the movie. The part when they’re in the sick tent makes me a little weepy, too. I was a bit obsessed with E.T. after my parents took me to see the film. I cried the whole way home and the only way Mom could get me to sleep was to prop up this E.T. playing card set on my shelf because it had his picture on the front so I could watch him as I fell asleep. Then, I used to fantasize about seeing him in places like the roller rink or McDonald’s, hoping I would be the only one to see him so I could be the one to take him home and help him find his family…
I’ve said too much. Please, I need a moment. Stop looking at me. Just focus on your literary critique, okay?
1. Peanut breath? I was wondering how my six-year-old self handled that one. Ah, so innocent back then!
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This is really cute, and those drawings are great. It brings back memories of my own reaction to E.T. I was about 5 years old.
I think you did a wonderful job of capturing the movie’s story and atmosphere.
It really bugs me that you never see film nerds discussing what a great film E.T. is – it’s a masterpiece. The realism is basically unmatched in any other film I can think of (the way the family relates to each other, etc), which makes the emotional impact all the more powerful. One can drone on and on about the symbolism of the unfinished houses, Eliot’s reflection in the scientist’s mask, etc. I certainly do, when anyone lets me.
In all honesty, I’ve never seen ET before. I saw a scene in it last year, the one where ET makes the globe spin, or something like that, but I’ve never seen the whole movie. This was really cute though and the pictures made it all the more better. It reminded me of second grade, when we had a similar assignment. We watched a silent movie, then had to tell what had happened. I crack up every time I go back and read it. It’s soo funny, how I was back then.
I think that your E.T. is a masterpiece, second only to my own first novel, a little book I like to call Bittersweet, The Horse Named After A Crayon Color. Unfortunately, all copies of Bittersweet have been lost to history (or my great aunt’s attic), so you will have to take my word for it that Bittersweet was a romantic epic, in which Bittersweet eventually found love with Aqua Marine, a pony that was both blue-green and green-blue.
Seriously, though, I love your first book. It’s hilarious (“peanut breath”) and your capitalization of E.t. shows a dedication to the rules of grammar not often seen by first graders. And I love that you, like Dawson Leery, were inspired to make art by Steven Spielberg.