Boob-Grazing, Not Navel-Gazing

Thanks to my wicked and borderline-unethical viral (spam) marketing skills, most of you already know about this from my email, MySpace, and the full page ad I took out in today’s Times. But in case you missed it, rather than having me drive down your street to throw a rock through your window…

Larry Doyle, Simpsons’ writer and author of I Love You Beth Cooper, has selected my most embarrassing high school story, Wonderful, My Ass!, as a finalist winner in his Agony & Ecstacy essay contest. For a laugh at my expense (and who doesn’t love a good mockery of their personal pain, right Micque?), check out this true tale of utter humiliation from 1989. Sadly, I’ve yet to learn how not to be an insecure, stalkeresque psychopath (how do you think I got Mr. Bims to marry me?), but I’ve had lots of fun trying and then writing about it.

Check out my tale of woe via the link below, and don’t forget to leave a few comments (or touch someone’s boob) on the story page if you’re so inspired!

11/04/08: Edited to add: Larry Doyle has since updated his blog and, sadly, removed the essays. You’ll have to take my word for it until I can post the essay elsewhere!

5 thoughts on “Boob-Grazing, Not Navel-Gazing

  1. Yes, it’s true, the mockery of one’s personal pain can be quite entertaining… if YOU’RE the one telling the damn story! So, BRAVO BIMS! Well done. I laughed. I cried. It kicked ass. :c)

  2. This story was great and I was so lucky to have heard it read aloud. It brought back the heartbreak of my own freshman year dumping in – ahem, 1976 – by Kevin Friel, who boob grazed me during the Eagles, Take it to the Limit and two weeks later dumped me for Frances Compannioni, who transferred in from St. Mary’s just to ruin my life. Oh the humiliation!

  3. Bims,

    You have an uncanny ability to transport the reader right into the story you are telling. I felt like I was reliving a part of my youth that I would prefer to leave dead and buried in the tundra known as Minnesota. 🙂

    If you’re book is half as good as your blog articles I have no doubt it will be a smashing success…

  4. I have a similar horrible high school story, but it involved a Richard Marx song, which makes it more ridiculous than painful at this point.

    You are a fantastic writer – I can’t wait to read the book (and the ones that follow!)

Comments are closed.