Now, I don’t want you to read my last post and incorrectly assume that I am anti-Halloween. I love Halloween. If I wasn’t so big and dopey I’d still be dressing up, with my snowsuit on over my costume like Mom used to make us, knocking on doors, tricking my little brothers into trading me their Reese’s peanut butter cups for my bit-o-honeys. Come on, who liked bit-o-honeys? They were just one rung above the black good-n-plenty.

In celebration of the season, here’s a list of costumes from the ghost of Halloween past.

Here’s my first ever Halloween costume (I think? Mom will correct me if I’m wrong.). I was 2 years old. I told my Mom I wanted to be a spider web. Not a spider, just the web.

I know, how do you top that? Well, I tried. Throughout my many decades of Halloweens, I’ve dressed as:

• Aforementioned spider web

• Raggedy Anne (3 years running)
• The old sheet-over-my-head-I’m-a-ghost, after I was dressed as Raggedy Anne for the 4th time and fed up, and mom said “Fine, just be a ghost, then” right before we were supposed to go out trick-or-treating
• Firestar
• Cheer Bear
• Madonna (hint: not the virgin)
• A bum
• Mickey Mouse, which everyone thought was Minnie because by then I had boobs
• A devil in a red dress
• A bee
• Something with an orange and green sweatsuit and a supersoaker
• Pajama party
• Homegrown Batgirl (because I was in college and had to make my costume out of random crap from around the apartment)
• A dalmation, which everyone thought was a cow.
• Okay, now it’s starting to blur because suddenly I was old enough (or close enough to being old enough) to drink.

Happy Halloween, everyone! If you’re so inspired, feel free to share a list of your own costumes. 🙂