When I Was Your Age…

July 1, 2009

Top 10 Things I Never Thought I’d Say to Teens When I Got This Old That I Actually Catch Myself Saying to Teens Now That I Am This Old:

  1. When I was your age… followed by something really corny or inappropriate that further accentuates my old age.
  2. We didn’t have cell phones (when I was your age). We had to keep a spare quarter in our shoe in case there was an emergency and we had to use a pay phone!
  3. (When I was your age) We didn’t have email or IM. We wrote notes, folded into fancy shapes.
  4. Why would you wear that? Aren’t you cold?
  5. You call this poppy crap music?
  6. When I graduated high school, you weren’t even a good idea yet.
  7. You’re young! Enjoy it while it lasts! It’s all downhill from here! Or some variation on the youth/downhill theme…
  8. I wish I could eat like that and stay skinny.
  9. I have nail polish / underwear / concert ticket stubs older than you.
  10. Um, yes, I am the author of that book. :-) (Okay, I kind of like saying that one!)

10th GradeAnd to round out tonight’s theme, I’d like to send a heartfelt note of thanks to my dear OLD friend Amy DWP.

It takes a special kind of friend to notice, point out, and call special attention to each and every one of someone’s gray hairs, and tonight, you did that for me. They (and I) felt quite honored!

Especially considering that when I was your age, we didn’t have gray hair. We had Sun-In! And Aqua Net! Check out the lift on those bangs!

Well now you’ve got me all nostalgic, so…

Top 10 Things That Were Cool When I Was Your Age

  1. Rolling, safety pinning, or some other creative method for tapering the cuffs one’s jeans. Anything that didn’t cut off ankle circulation was considered bell-bottomed and therefore banned. Boot cut? We would have ostracized you!
  2. Big, immovable, indestructible bangs of steel (um, see photo above).
  3. Walkmans. That’s right. We didn’t have iPods when I was your age. If we wanted new music, we had to save up $8.99 to buy a cassette tape at the mall.
  4. Making mix tapes, either by dubbing cassettes (for those of us lucky enough to have a double cassette deck) or by holding the recorder right up to the stereo.
  5. Sissy tests, in which you let someone scratch the back of your hand rapidly and repeatedly until you pulled away. The longer you could stand it, the less of a sissy you were. If you didn’t have bleeding gashes on your hands, you were a loser. I made my own to avoid the test (some call it sissy, I call it genius) and told my parents an elaborate tale about slipping on the parallel bars in gym. That should have been a dead giveaway, considering I never did anything strenuous in gym, especially anything that had the potential to mess up those bangs.
  6. Writing out all of the lyrics to songs so we could sing along.
  7. Getting super creative with writing notes to girlfriends, like in code, colors, or with a really cool fold that no one had ever seen before.
  8. Going stag to dances in big groups of girls. We had to go stag. Getting too close to the guys was a bad idea — we could kill someone with those bangs of ours! (Well, okay, maybe going stag was just my personal fad, since I never had a steady [or presentable in public] boyfriend.)
  9. Hair scrunchies, often more than one at a time.
  10. Cootie catchers, aka fortune tellers, in which you write little clues on paper and fold it up into this little thingy and… well, check out the explanation here if you really want to know.

And now I want to know… for all the readers over 18, what was cool when YOU were a teen?


Reader’s Choice Potluck Blog

April 6, 2009

I recently asked readers for blog topic suggestions via my Facebook and Twitter status. Some might call this the lazy blogger’s way, but to them I say, *yawn* *stretch* *shrug* pass me the white cheddar popcorn? I’m gonna need some coffee, too. Thaaanks!

Lazy blogger? No way. I’m just connecting with my people. Taking part in the ongoing discussion. Good Internet citizenry, customer service, solutions not problems, readers know best and all. Dig?

So, the people have spoken, and after filtering out the inappropriate suggestions, here’s what the people want to know. Or maybe they were just being nice and don’t really want to know, but this is a potluck, so if you don’t like what you brought to the table, try a different dish. Thankfully no one brought ambrosia salad.

*Shudders*

All right. Got your paper plates and plastic cutlery?

APPETIZERS

  • Megan would like everyone to know how awesome she is, so check out her blog Pos(sey) Sessions and feast upon her awesomeness with thine own hungry eyes. Oh, man, that hungry eyes comment totally reminds me of Patrick Swayze. “Nobody puts Baby (or Megan) in a corner!”
  • Greg asks, “Have we gotten soft? Wazzup with earth hour; kinda like going on a fast between meals!” I wondered about this myself. But after all the trouble I got into with my psycho vegetarian April Fool’s post, I don’t want to start talking about the Earth. I mean, there are a lot of Earth-haters out there! So let’s all adopt a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy when it comes to our respective carbon footprints, and then we can all stay friends.

MAIN COURSE

  • Steven, former OPHS homeroom buddy, asks, “Would you ever open a book store/coffee shop?” I’ve often thought about this in a highly romanticized sort of way, like running off to Paris and writing in little sidewalk cafes all day. But the cold hard fact is, I’m soooo not a morning person. So as much as I love books and coffee and jazzy uptempo ambient music and ironic trivia questions written in neon chalk on tiny little blackboards, I just don’t think it’s a feasible business model for me. Perhaps I could open a vampire coffee/book store for people like me who are up all night. That might actually work. Especially if Edward Cullen was available for the grand opening… mmmm… um… wait, what?
  • Apparently my Edward-themed coffee shop isn’t exciting enough for homeroom buddy Steve, because he also suggests a blog about “…hooking up your old high school mates that DON’T read with your cute single friends that DO read.” I’m compelled (and legally obligated) to inform Steve that most of my “cute single reading friends” who visit this blog are, well, in high school. And not to point fingers or use the word geriatric or anything, but Steve went to high school with me. So, sorry buddy, that blog isn’t gonna happen. Next!
  • Lisa at Eudaemonia wants a funny post about Grand Lake. “I’m sure some funny stuff happened to you up there,” she says. “We won’t be mad.” Grand Lake was a writer’s retreat I attended through Lighthouse Writers Workshop in the summer of 2007, where I met Lisa, Darling Rachel, and a number of other talented writers. We all stayed in a lodge for a week and did tons of workshops by day and got into lots of trouble by night. Totally “One time, at writer’s camp…” type stuff. Now Lisa, if you’re referring to the boob graze incident, the tattoo peep show, the awesome local cover band talent, or Rob’s “Creative Cat” drawing, I was barely involved and can neither confirm nor deny…
  • Karen at Beyond Understanding wants to know more about Buffalo. It’s cold here. Rainy. Mostly dark. But we’re still officially in winter. Alex and I are looking forward to summer in our neighborhood — lots of art and food festivals, fun places to walk, Delaware Park. We also just visited the new Burchfield Penny Art Center with our neighbors and saw some cool stuff. I grew up here, but after 11 years away, I’ve only been back about 6 months and haven’t fully re-experienced it yet. With the weather turning warmer (finally), look for more posts about fun stuff going on in Buffalo this summer!

PALETTE CLEANSER

  • Sharon (aka TSM, The Strand Master, so named for her prowess at sneaking us into the secret back room at Strand Books in NYC) at Sharon Loves Books and Cats thinks I should do a vlog for her. I did promise I would if we hit 100 responses on my Connecting with YA Authors Online survey by April 5. We got 264. So that vlog is coming soon!

DESSERT

  • YA author Josh Berk says, “You should do an April’s fool post where you reveal some ridiculous secret & then later reveal it to be a hoax.” Yeah, thanks, Josh. That suggestion worked out awe-awe-awesome. BTW, we’re all clear on that now, right? I mean, Josh brought hamburgers to the Reader’s Choice Potluck Blog and I was totally cool with it. I put them on a separate table, in a different room, in the basement, but still, totally cool with it. *Group hug!*

FUTURE MEALS

I received lots of great suggestions for future blog posts, so check back soon for these topics and more:

  • A post about the pros and cons of writing groups and how uber cool the people who run and attend Lighthouse Writers Workshops are, for Lisa.
  • For T.S. at Must Love Books, “Planning the Middle,” for a discussion for writers about what to do when you’ve got a really great setup & ending but aren’t sure how to get from point A to point B.
  • Vania at Reverie Media would like to know about my favorite book! Yeah!

If there’s anything else you want to know (that is, anything *appropriate*), drop a note in the comments and I’ll answer your questions at our next potluck. Thanks for dining with me! Don’t forget your Earth-friendly biodegradable doggie bags!


Josh Berk Update (Hint: Date!)

April 1, 2009

Okay, I can only let people think I’m crazy for so long, even in the name of spirited author BFF mischief! Now that everyone thinks I’m an extremist militant vegan whack job with enough free time on my hands to stage a blog battle against free speech and a full-scale (albeit largely unsupported) protest against the sweet, unsuspecting, MC-Hammer-underpants-wearing1 debut author Josh Berk…

APRIL FOOLS!

Judging from the intense commentary here and on Josh’s various Web sites, this one was even more convincing than the circa 1987 prank in which brother #1 and I locked brother #2 in the basement and told him Freddy Krueger was down there. Poor kid still can’t watch Nightmare on Elm Street, and he’s 25 years old now! Thankfully Josh was in on today’s gag, so the momentary burden of my guilt at upsetting all of you can be equally shared.

Next, on authors behaving badly…

Since I’ve completely risked (and possibly ruined) my reputation as a mentally stable writer (*cough* oxymoron! *cough*) with this little stunt, I’d like to tell you all, if you can’t tell already, that I absolutely heart Josh Berk (almost as much as I heart veggie burgers). He’s one of the funniest authors I know, and I encourage all of you—regardless of your food orientation2—to check out his blog and watch for THE DARK DAYS OF HAMBURGER HALPIN in January of 2010. I’m hoping Josh will stop by for an interview soon, once he’s done mopping up the buckets of sympathy tears this post has earned him.

(Josh, please tell them I’m not an issue-laden psycho… *whimpers gently as a kitten* *offers tofu hot dogs*)

Psychos and kittens (and psycho kittens who eat tofu hot dogs) aside, happy April Fools to all of you! Oh, you all know that the whole Gmail Autopilot thing is just a joke, too, right? :-)


1. This part, I’m afraid, is not a fib. He really does have the MC Hammer undergarments. Ask him.

2. This post, this blog, and the author of such herein neither supports nor discourages the consumption of meat and neither endorses nor disparages individuals who consume meat. The author fully supports the individual right to chose meat or meat alternatives when planning his or her diet and also supports the books of Josh Berk as part of a daily reading regiment but would not force or vote for legislation to force readers to read such works. The author warrants that she received no compensation, direct or implied, for these statements.


Awards & Updates

March 31, 2009

Guess what? I’m now officially an award-winning author! Awards! Me! I know, right? My book isn’t even out yet! Doesn’t matter. Thanks to Yan at Books By Their Cover, I’m worthy. She’s bestowed upon me the highly coveted… Zombie Chicken Award!

Zombie Chicken Award

zombie chicken awardThe blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all…

Thank you, Yan! Now, for my turn. I’m awarding the Zombie Chicken to:

  1. Sarah MacLean, author of THE SEASON, who’s as cute, smart, and hilarious as she is schooled in the ways of Regency and romance.
  2. Jennifer Brown, pub house sister and author of HATE LIST, who’s Jennifunny blog earns its name with every post.
  3. Josh Berk, my agent brother and author of THE DARK DAYS OF HAMBURGER HALPIN, who proudly wears MC Hammer Underoos and is never afraid to blog way TMI.
  4. AuthorsNow!, a collaboration of 2009 and 2010 debut authors who come together online to share book recommendations, contests, book world insights, and other fun stuff.
  5. Sarah Woodard, who blogs and vlogs about my favorite things (um, books!) at Sarah’s Random Musings and keeps freaky vampire hours like me. Sarahs of the world, unite!

Randomness Updates

In other news, well, TWENTY BOY SUMMER is out in 62 days. Gulp. Yes, now I’m counting. Book 2 is in the revision stage, which means I’m still not going to say much about it yet (hopefully soon)! That one comes out next year. And I’m working on book 3, as well as launch plans for book 1. It’s kind of funny that while my first book is being introduced to the world, I’m actually done with a 2nd and working on a 3rd. I like being busy, though, otherwise I’d give in to my natural tendency to move as little as possible and wait for my husband to bring me soup and chocolates and news of who got voted off Idol this week. It’s the life!

Finally, I’d like to take this opportunity to wish my dear friend Darling Rachel a very happy birthday! This time last year, we were saying our goodbyes to Rachel at Denver’s Wynkoop Brewery as we got ready to head back east. *Sniffle!* Anyway, happy birthday, darling. I hope your day is as fabulous as you are!

Darling Rachel


TWENTY BOY SUMMER Contest Winners!

March 2, 2009

Thanks to everyone who participated in the first ever TWENTY BOY SUMMER contest and joined our fan page on Facebook. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for your enthusiasm and excitement about the book! What else can I say? You guys rock!

From over 75 entries on SarahOckler.com, Facebook, LiveJournal, AuthorsNow, and MySpace, the winners are…

Erika Lynn and Krista will each receive an autographed advance review copy of TWENTY BOY SUMMER.

Check back again soon! We’ll have plenty more contests, giveaways, and more fun stuff on the fan page between now and the book’s debut on June 1. Which for you counting-down-the-days types is 91 days away. Or, 13 weeks. Also known as 2184 hours. 131,040 minutes. 7,862,400 seconds…

…hey, not that I’m counting. I totally said I wasn’t counting!