I read a completely trashy smut novel last week on vacation (I visited my best friend who pretty much exclusively reads romance novels, and whenever I visit, I ask her to throw me a dose of brain candy) WITH A CHARACTER NAMED TRICK. He was bad, though. The reason Our Heroine was pretty much a hussy, from my eye-view.

The best nicknames I’ve been exposed to are “Speed” (my very slow maternal grandfather’s nickname) and “Tiny” (my 6’4″ father’s childhood nickname. I prefer irony in a nickname. Or something that came about because of a younger sibling’s inability to pronounce–such as “Keb” for my nephew Caleb and “Juke” for a friend’s child, Julian Kerry Collins Wight. For Patrick, what would that be? I’ll ask my friend Gail, who has a 4-year-old named Patrick with a younger sister named IRIS who was born on April 15. IRIS. IRS. Get it? Maybe call him Taxi? Ponyboy? Sodapop? Sweet Tea?

Okay, my imagination is exhausted. I gotta get some sleep.

I thought of Trick independently and was very impressed with myself until I saw that others also had the same idea. The two ways to look at it are 1) great minds think alike or 2) there really are no original ideas. I am definitely on the #1 side. So then I had to think harder (which was harder) and I decided that the nickname depends on who gave it to him. Mothers usually give their children “cute” nicknames (e.g., Andee for Andrea, Topher for Christopher, etc.). Boys (friends) usually give each other cruel names (e.g., Brad’s friend has a brother whom they affectionately call “snot.” I don’t know why and really don’t want to know). So, the name I offer is Twitch. I thought maybe his friends could have named him Twitch because he would always move his fingers during class as if he were daydreaming that he was playing the guitar.

Hope that helps. If you end up using Twitch, I at least want my initials in the credits somewhere. And if Twitch is the dumbest name you’ve ever heard, go easy on me – it’s my first time nicknaming a character.

As for last names, those always stump me too and I end up with the most generic last names for my characters. They always end up being job names or something similar. Like Chandler or Chase or Dark. Something totally non-last name, which can be good in moderation (as with most things).

What about Haggerty? That name has been popping into my brain for the last few weeks—maybe the universe wanted me to suggest it to you. Patrick Haggerty. Do with it what you will.

BTW, your move on Scrabulous.